Visiting the Missionaries

Bens parents are currently serving a full time Mission at the Allen County Public Library. The geneology library is the second largest in the world with over 350,000 printed volumes and over 500,000 microfilm and microfiche. It is a cooperating partner with the Family History Library in Salt Lake City. His parents are responsible for digitizing the 350,000 plus printed volumes of geneology (books) sitting on shelves at the library. They then become joint property of the church and ACPL and can be viewed by anyone in the world in digital format. Brogan is helping is Grandpa here. (future missionary)

Allen County Library

This is our new favorite place. The downtown library is so fun for the kids! They have a HUGE childrens area with so much for the kids to do. Vance asks me everyday if we can go to the "Libeary" because he loves it so much.

There is a big reaing tower that the boys can read in

there is also a huge fish tank with "Dori and Nemo" :)

David Archuleta

Gifts for Baby Jesus

Vance had a Christmas party at his school and all the kids brought gifts for "baby Jesus" and then the school donated them to a shelter. I love that his school teaches him the important things. We were driving in the car before his party and Vance said, "Mom, I am so happy". I asked him why his was so happy and he said, "Because, Jesus died for all the children so they can live and be happy. I am a little child, so I am happy." I am so thankful for our church and the gospel. I love that my kids can learn these things at such a young age. I can just see the light of christ through them, and I love all the sweet little things they teach me.

Bro got it cut

Ben finally let me cut Brogan's hair off! Yay.... he looks like such a cute little man. I love it so mch better. He was being silly and wouldn't let me take a good pic. Oh well, you get the idea

Vance's Christmas Program

Vance made his big debut at his school during his Christmas program. His school, Emmaus Lutheran, is such an awesome school. We thought it would be best to put him in a private school and I am SOOOO happy we did. He has done so well with his classmates and his teacher is fantastic. We love her. Vance was so dang cute up on the big stage. He was so excited to see us with the cameras on him. He kept pointing to us and trying to tell his friends where we were. His little songs and actions were so sweet. I can't beleive how much he is growing up. He is getting so big and he puts a smile on my face everyday.

this was all the classes together. grades 1 through 6 did their program on another night.

Vance with his teacher, Mrs. Swartz. We couldn't ask for a better teacher!

Not just dreaming of a white Christmas!

Saturday we woke up to the first substantial snow fall of the year. It was beautiful, just under 30 degrees with a soft powdery snow. It snowed about 3-4 inches. The kids were so excited to go play in the snow. Ben went out to shovel the driveway, and with the accumulated snow He and the boys built a snowman named "Jack". They had such a good time. I spent much of the time on the front porch snapping photos. I was freezing, granted I was just wearing a long sleeved t-shirt, but the boys didn't mind the cold at all. In fact I think they would have played outside all day, if I would have allowed it. Of course, Ben had to put a Georgia hat on Jack. We had to make due with rocks out the front yard to substitute the eyes made out of coal, and the carrot for a nose. We then sat around the fireplace watching Sponge Bob and sipping hot chocolate. What a nice relaxing day. 3 days until Christmas. It's snowing right now, and should continue for the next 3 days. We are planning on sledding for Christmas! This will be our first white christmas as a family! Actually... It will be my first white Christmas EVER!

baby update

At 2 moths, Grey is still pretty much acting like a newborn becuase he should just now be coming out of my tummy. This has been a very long, hard last 2 months, but it is now all falling together. He is susch a sweet little spirit and we are blessed to have him in our home. He is about 8lbs at 2 months but he is growing everyday.

Brogan turns 3

My sweet Bro Bro is 3! I just love this kid so much! we took him bowling with his cousins and he had a blast. He relaly didn't need much help carrying and throwing the bowling ball. He is 3 and he is 45 lbs. He is so big for his age. he wears nothing smaller than a 5t. He is just a big teddy bear!

Bro with Grandma and Grandpa... his hair is out of control... I know

Brogan is a total Mama's boy and I love it. He loves to be on my lap and cuddle when I'm watching TV. He is so funny because he copies Everything his older brother Vancie does. He is always thinking about his brother and wants to buy him things. Everything Brogan says begins with "I need to tell you somfing" He says it in between sentences and it gets a little annoying but I appreciate all his sweet little qwarky things he does. He can't live without his blakies, "cowboy B" and "Army Man" (thats what he calls them) He eats so much! He loves Pasta and Pizza and Chicken. Every meal he asks for chicken! He loves Thomas, Lighting Mcqueen, Spongbob and most of all Optimus Prime! Don't ever call him Bumble Bee because he will correct you! He always tells me randomly that I'm pretty and when I tell him hes handsome, he says "No I'm AWESOME!" Also, if you call him Brogan, he likes to say "call me Bro Bro". He really thinks his given name in Bro Bro. He just lights up my life along with my other boys! Happy Birthday Brogan!!!!

The Birth

Well, it has been since weeks since I had sweet little Grey so I figure I should get this post out of the way. I will try to make a long story short. I had been in the hospital for 5 weeks and I was so ready to have this baby! Just about every 2 days they were having to stop my labor and it was getting really old. On September 10, My perinatologist came to see me and saw the amount of pain I was in due to my kidneys being blocked off and he explained to me that we may just be better off getting the baby out and off the pain meds. With in 5 minutes of that conversation he had done an Amnio and an ultrasound! He is the most amazing kind Dr. He is so good at what he does and that is why he is very well known around the mid-west. Every one was shocked because the ultrasound said the baby weight over 5 lbs! for 32 weeks that is huge. My Dr said he felt very confident about getting the baby out and getting me healthy again. SO.... the next day (the 11th) they started inducing me at 7am I was at a 3 so they gave me my epidural then too. after about 5 hours of laboring, NOTHING was happening and I was still at a 3! Of course, when we finally tell the baby it is ok to come, he wont! So I went all day and all night and the next morning the dr said he was going to break my water. After he did that, I notices that there was no "gush of fluids" be he said it was probably because the baby's head was blocking it. well after another 5 hours, the nurse checked me again and STILL AT A 3! well my nurse said she didn't think my water was really broken. sure enough.... it wasn't. She then broke it and 30 minutes later, we had a baby. It was all just because of my stupid water not breaking. By this time, I had no epidural and my same anesthesiologist had gone home so there was nothing they could do for me. I will say I have NEVER felt pain like that! When I had Vance, my epidural wore off a "little bit" and I thought THAT was terrible..... NOPE! nothing even compares to natural child birth. On the up side, it was nice to not be numb and be able to walk as soon as I popped him out. So that is how it all went down. A little dramatic, but all very worth it. Besides the fact that that he was 2 months early he was such a little trooper. He was 4lbs 11oz and very healthy for a 32 weeker. He had to be rushed to the nicu for obvious reasons but the drs were all very impressed with him. I can't believe that amount of relief I got from that little 4lb baby coming out of me. I went from extreme pain and feeling like I just wanted to die, to feeling so free and healthy. The recovery was by far the longest of my 3 kids of course, but considering the facts, I thought I felt great. It has been a very long, but short 6 weeks at the same time. Grey was in the the NICU for 3 1/2 weeks because he couldn't maintain his body temp. They sent him home on October 7 with a heart and lung monitor and he is doing awesome! He was up to 6.4 at his first weight check. I am so blessed to have all these tender mercies. I think things should have been a lot harder but they weren't. My mom was here for a long time helping me with EVERYTHING! Not only did she cook, clean and babysit, she kept me sane and helped me remember that I can get through all of this. I love her so much. Ben has been such and amazing dad. He pretty much had to step it up and play single dad for 2 months and he did great. He is so good with all the boys and I am so thankful for him. I am so blessed to have such great friends and family. I have received so many cute and fun packages in the mail from my friends back home in AZ and I appreciate ALL of it. I am so happy for all of this to be over and now I can just focus on my sweet little boys!

Right after delivery

Working on him so I could hold him before he went off to NICU

I hated these tubes! I was so happy when he only had to have them for a short time

Mommy time in NICU before they sent me home with out my baby;)

Still here!

Sweet Baby Grey is still in the hospital, But he is quite the little fighter! They thought that he was close to coming home a couple of times, but he cant keep his temp up. He cant hold his temp outside of the warmer so he has to stay there. Today he weighed 5lbs 6oz, so he is getting up there in weight. He brings me so much peace and joy even though he is not home with me yet. I LOVE going down to the hospital to feed him and just spend quiet time with him. All the nurses talk about how cute and sweet he is. Just today, his nurse told me that he is one of the most content little babies she has ever seen. It is amazing how his sweetness rubs off on all of us! I can't wat to have him home so I can just stare at him all day:)

Baby Grey is here!!!

Bennett Grey Cowart
4lbs 11oz 18 inches long
Septmeber 12, 2009
(32 weeks)

I Know, I know, I have so much to catch up on and I will when I feel a little better. We are all doing good!

He is off ALL oxygen and just trying to tollerate feedings. He still has a feeding tube but hopefully it will come out soon. We LOVE him so much and I all ready feel so blessed to have my 3 boys! He is a little trooper and has fought so hard for his mommy. I am so thankful for all the prayers! I know they have helped get us though all of this!

the Boy's Visits

Ben brings the boys down everyday to see me and give me my daily hugs and kisses. I just love them to death. The hardest thing about this whole situation is not being there for them right now. They just don't understand what is going on. Vance is so sweet and is ALWAYS asking me if "I'm ok" and "if I feel better". They love to rub my feet and give me "hand hugs" (queezing my hands) They usually can't stay very long because they tend to get loud and crazy but I love it while it last. Everytime Vance comes in he asks where the baby is. He is really confused as to when this baby is coming out. We all are! I wish I didn't look so terrible in these pics but there is not much I can do about that these days;)

Vance took this pic of me. I have just now felt good enough to get on the computer, because before, I would get really sick everytime I looked at the screen. But here I am... ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.

An update on baby and Mommy

Well well well, this is been quite the ride. Lets see..... Long story short, I am back in the hospital and will NOT be out until we have the baby! CRAZY. Last Sat after being in the hospital for a week, they told me that I could get the tube taken out of my back and get a stint put on the inside so I wouldnt have to deal with this stupid bag anymore! After preparing me for 2 days for this surgery, They got me all the way to the OR just to tell me that they can't do it because it is too risky! I was so upset! They told me if I would stay one more night with out any problems then I could go home the next day and just be on Bed rest there. Well, I made it through the night, so I got to go HOME! YAY. Of course, on Sunday I start to get sick again and the bleeding in my kidneys came back! I tried to tolerate it so I wouldn't have to go back and I made it all the way to monday when I had to come in because I was throwing up and contracting non-stop. They were ready for me when I got here and got me back in a bed ASAP. The Dr came in that night to break the news that I was not leaving this time. Im just too dehydrated and my kidneys need the constant fluid and pain relif. They say the baby is great! He is really strong and has shown NO signs of stress. It just my body that is shutting down. I got a pic line put in a couple days ago so my veins don't have to take the IVs anymore. It's nice because my arms are free but I can feel the pressure on my heart. This baby is such a strong little guy. I know that it will all be so worth it when I see his cute little face. I am on steroids to help his lungs because the perinatologist said he won't make it past 34 weeks. Considering the circumstances, This hospital has been great! I have so many Doctors working with me and trying to keep me healthy. I love my nurses! The have just kind of made my part of the family:) The picture above is from when I thought I was going into surgery to get that tube taken out... What a let down...

Ok... How cute was my PINK IV? I loves it. I told them that I wanted a pink pic line but I had to settle for purple;)

This has been my veiw for 3 weeks now...... I just keep trying to remember that this is just a short period of time in my life

Brogan and his B's

Brogan has 2 blankets that he calls Cowboy B and Army man B and he CAN'T live with without them! He is so funny because he always has them and will not sleep with out them. The funniest part is that he rubs them on his eyeballs! I know all kids have their wierd little things that they do, but I have never seen this one before. He has always done so I have never really thought about it until a friend started talking about how funny it is. He always asks us if he can rub them on our eyes and he gets mad if we can't keep our eyes open for him to do it. He is a funny little dude.

Vance taking after mama....

The other morning, I woke up to a flash in my face because Vance found a new hobby. He took our point and shoot and took about a million pictures. He always wakes up before us, but normally he just watches TV and eats breakfast, but now he has a new interest. I wonder where he gets it from? ;)
He took a bunch of our living room..... I don't really get it?

OK seriously, I couldn't bring myself to post the funny ones because we look so terrible but he took about a million of me and Ben sleeping! the other ones are so funny because I am so out of it and I can't really figure out what is going on.....

Ben's foot.... while sleeping

Ben's Closet... again, I don't really understand